Thursday 28 February 2013

P. Ki Tissa -Leadership Styles

Rabbi Marc Angel:
«... Joshua made mistakes, Joshua was not as forceful or as confident as Moses.
Rabbi Angel quotes the "Sefat Emet" of Rabbi Yehudah Aryeh Leib Alter of Ger who contrasted the leadership styles of Moses and Aaron. Whereas Moses, like the sun, was totally dominant, Joshua was like the moon—the moon allows stars to shine! It was precisely Joshua's "imperfections" that made him a phenomenally successful leader. He did not view himself—nor was he viewed by the people—as a one-of-a-kind leader to whom everyone had to defer. Rather, he was one of the people; he consulted them; he appointed others to take leadership roles. He was content to be a "moon" who let other "stars" shine.
The lesson: there are different types of leaders and different styles of leadership. ...»
Leadership Styles: Thoughts on Parashat Ki Tissa, March 2, 2013 | Institute for Jewish Ideas and Ideals

Best Regards,

Tuesday 26 February 2013

Young Jews rebelling against paying dues

Following P. Sh'qalim and P. T'rumah we note a rebellion against dues.

«So in 2010, at Temple Brith Achim in King of Prussia, Pa., the board decided to eliminate dues. "It was the middle of the recession," says Matt Shapiro, president of the Reform congregation. "People were having significant financial difficulties. We were looking for ways to help families without having to close our doors. We thought: 'People will pay what they can. If they walk away, we're not going to get their money. If they're forced to pay more than they can afford, they're not going to stay very long.' " »

Young Jews rebelling against paying [synagogue] dues: Wash. Post--1/18/13

Best Regards,

Monday 25 February 2013

Identifying and Defining "B'rachah Has'muchah"

I identified several cases that seemed fuzzy to me. And so I sought some help from a chaveir.

See SA O"Ch 54:1,
Birkas Yishtabach is deemed S'muchah to Baruch She'amar.

MB 1 says this is despite the intervening p'sukkim [of P'sukkei d'Zimrah] - just as it is so for Sh'ma

So far so good.

Then M"B adds same for Hallel - citing the P'ree M'gaddim in Shaar Hatziyyun 2.

Question #1
How can the last b'rachah in Hallel be S'muchah to a B'rachah "K'tzarah" at the beginning of Hallel? This seems quite different than the case of Baruch She'amar and Yishtabach where the first b'rachah is a B'rachah Aruccah. It appears that a b'rachah has'muchah follows a b'rachah arukkah and not a K'tzarah.

Question #2
Even the case of Yishtabach does not seem so absolute.

At the end of the seder some are m'sayeim with Yishtabach while the others are m'sayeim with Y'hall'lucha, with neither one being s'mucha to an opening b'rachah.


My Chaveir Responds

«Tosafos on Kesuvos 8a explains that a beracha ketzara can also generate. a semucha lechraverta , but saying the two back to back would create the. wrong impression that it is one long beracha . It follows that here where Hallel is said between them there is no such problem.»

«This is addressed at length by Tosafos to Berachos 14a. See there for their conclusion that this beracha on Pesach night is a "hodaah be'alma" and so it does not need to open with a baruch.»


Note the answer to #2 DOES suggest that Birkas Hasheer - at least at the end of the Seder - is a hoda'ah b'alma which matches my original point of view.

Best Regards,

Sunday 24 February 2013

Rambam Re: Meat and Wine on Shabbat, Y"T, and Purim

Here is a technique for using patterns to arrive at a common pre-supposition or premise.

Q: What does the Rambam have to say about festive dining on

Shabbat -
הלכות שבת פרק ל
ט  חייב אדם לאכול שלוש סעודות בשבת--אחת ערבית, ואחת שחרית, ואחת במנחה.  וצריך להיזהר בשלוש סעודות אלו, שלא יפחות מהן כלל; ואפילו עני המתפרנס מן הצדקה, סועד שלוש סעודות.  ואם היה חולה מרוב האכילה, או שהיה מתענה--פטור משלוש סעודות.
==> וצריך לקבוע כל סעודה משלושתן על היין, ולבצוע על שתי כיכרות.  וכן, בימים טובים.

י  אכילת בשר ושתיית יין בשבת, עינוג [עונג] הוא לה--והוא, שהייתה ידו משגת.
  ואסור לקבוע סעודה על היין בשבת ובימים טובים, בשעת בית המדרש; אלא כך הוא מנהג הצדיקים--יתפלל אדם בשבת שחרית ומוסף בבית הכנסת, ויבוא לביתו ויסעוד סעודה שנייה, וילך לבית המדרש יקרא וישמע עד המנחה, ויתפלל מנחה; ואחר כך יקבע סעודה שלישית על היין, ויאכל וישתה עד מוצאי שבת.
Yom Tov:
יז  [יח] כיצד:  הקטנים, נותן להם קליות ואגוזים ומגדנות; והנשים, קונה להן בגדים ותכשיט כפי ממונו; והאנשים, אוכלין בשר ושותין יין, שאין שמחה אלא בבשר, ואין שמחה אלא ביין. ...
יח  [יט] אף על פי שאכילה ושתייה במועדות בכלל מצות עשה, לא יהיה אוכל ושותה כל היום כולו--אלא כך היא הדת:  בבוקר משכימין כל העם לבתי כנסייות ולבתי מדרשות, ומתפללין וקוראין בתורה בעניין היום; וחוזרין לבתיהם, ואוכלין.  והולכין לבתי מדרשות, קורין ושונין עד חצי היום; ואחר חצי היום, מתפללין תפילת המנחה, וחוזרין לבתיהן לאכול ולשתות, שאר היום עם הלילה.
יט  [כ] כשאדם אוכל ושותה ושמח ברגל, לא יימשך ביין ובשחוק ובקלות ראש ויאמר שכל שיוסיף בזה ירבה במצוה, שהשכרות והשחוק הרבה וקלות הראש, אינה שמחה אלא הוללות וסכלות.  ולא נצטווינו על ההוללות והסכלות, אלא על השמחה שיש בה עבודת יוצר הכול, שנאמר "תחת, אשר לא עבדת את ה' אלוהיך, בשמחה, ובטוב לבב" (דברים כח,מז), הא למדת שהעבודה בשמחה.  ואי אפשר לעבוד את ה'--לא מתוך שחוק, ולא מתוך קלות ראש, ולא מתוך שכרות

טז  [טו] כיצד חובת סעודה זו--שיאכל בשר ויתקן סעודה נאה, כפי אשר תמצא ידו; ושותה יין, עד שישתכר ויירדם בשכרות.
יז  וכן חייב לשלוח שתי מנות של בשר, או של מיני תבשיל, או שני מיני אוכלין--לחברו:  שנאמר "ומשלוח מנות, איש לריעהו" (אסתר ט,יט; אסתר ט,כב)--שתי מנות, לאדם אחד.  וכל המרבה לשלוח לריעים, משובח. 

Summary of Rambam:

In the case of Oneg Shabbat all 3 meals have wine; at least 2, preferably, have meat.
Simchat Y"T meals have wine and meat [at least for men]
So too on Purim
And preferably Mishlo'ach Manot has meat assuming that the order is significant. No mention of beverage.
It seems clear that for the Rambam, any festive meal is presumed to have meat and wine, without necessarily having a formal imperative to do so

Best Regards,

Saturday 23 February 2013

Mussar: Cheering up the Poor on Poorim

משנה תורה - ספר זמנים -הלכות מגילה פרק ב

יט  [יז] מוטב לאדם להרבות במתנות אביונים, מלהרבות בסעודתו ובשלוח לריעיו--שאין שם שמחה גדולה ומפוארה, אלא לשמח לב עניים ויתומים ואלמנות וגרים, שהמשמח לב האמיללים האלו מידמה בשכינה, שנאמר "להחיות רוח שפלים, ולהחיות לב נדכאים" (ישעיהו נז,טו).

Note this Halachah is replicated later on EG in Kitzur SA

Best Regards,

Friday 22 February 2013

Update on Wendy Weiner Runge

I just received this email -RRW
« The Aleph Institute works on behalf of Jews in prison and in the military and have been very involved with Wendy's case.
     In a discussion with them today it is understood that their behind-the-scenes work has borne fruit and could be negatively impacted by our letter writing campaign!  Rabbi Goldberger, Wendy's Rav in Minneapolis, agrees.
     At this time please CEASE WRITING LETTERS to Governor Branstad of Iowa.  We will contact you should it be deemed necessary to restart this project at a later date.
     Just as we thank you for writing we now thank you for NOT writing!  We will update you as things happen.
     Have a Good Shabbos and a Freilichen Purim.
Mindy and Barry Weinstein

Can One Fulfil the Mitzvah of Mechiyat Amalek by Converting Them?

Originally posted on Mar. 7/09

There are two ways of fighting evil. One is by destroying the object that contains the evil. The other is by ridding the object of its evil thereby destroying the evil but maintaining the object. This is the question I pose concerning Amalek. Is the Torah command to physically destroy this nation for that is the only way to destroy this evil OR can this evil be destroyed by confronting it within the people, destroying specifically this evil and thereby still maintaing the people?

I addressed this issue in an article now posted on the Nishma website at You are invited to take a look at it and comment upon it here.

Rabbi Ben Hecht

Thursday 21 February 2013

Ruth Calderon, MK

A very nice speech in the Knesset from Ruth Calderon, a secular MK who learns lishma.

«I am recounting all of this in order to say that I grew up in a very Jewish, very Zionist, secular-traditional-religious home that combined Ashkenaz and Sepharad, [Revisionist] Betar and [Socialist] Hashomer Hatzair, in the Israeli mainstream of the 60s and 70s. I was educated like everyone else my age – public education in the spirit of "from Tanach to Palmach". I was not acquainted with the Mishna, the Talmud, Kabbala or Hasidism. By the time I was a teenager, I already sensed that something was missing. Something about the new, liberated Israeli identity of [Moshe Shamir's] Elik who was "born of the sea", of Naomi Shemer's poems, was good and beautiful, but lacking. I missed depth; I lacked words for my vocabulary; a past, epics, heroes, places, drama, stories – were missing. »
'The Heritage Of All Israel' | The Jewish Week

More here :

Best Regards,

Wednesday 20 February 2013

Letter from Barry and Mindy Weiner Weinstein re: Wendy Weiner Runge

Forwarded with Permission  -- RRW


     We have been asked for general guidelines as to what to include and what not to include in a letter to Governor Branstad of Iowa requesting assistance for Wendy Runge [Mindy's sister].

     First, though, if you haven't done so already, please read the op-ed by Rabbi Goldberger.

    Second, please do consider composing a letter and sending it to the governor at:

In this regard, we ask you to remember the following guidelines:

It MUST be RESPECTFUL with no hint of anger or anything negative.  We want his help, not to alienate him from our cause.

Write in your own words so everyone's letter is original - not a variation of someone else's letter.
Try to do this once every 2-3 weeks - this way the governor will see that there's a lot of public interest in this case.

Items that can be included in your letter (you needn't mention all):

1) About Wendy
She is not a thief
Committed no act of fraud
Committed a clerical error with the approval of the appropriate government commissioner, for which she received no financial gain
No intent to commit a crime
Admitted remorse and regret
Readily admitted in public to making a mistake
Non-violent, first-time offender with no criminal history
Married for 25 years to one man and has 4 children with him, 2 of whom are still young
Long-time member of her community and active in many charitable endeavors
Any personal experiences you may have had that will reflect well on her

2) WHAT NOT TO MENTION - under ANY circumstances!

3) Requests
Accommodate her First Amendment right of freedom of religion and her religious needs while incarcerated (i.e. kosher food)
Reconsider her very harsh sentence of 10 years (it's effect on her husband, children and older parents)

4) Lastly

Please feel free to share with us your letter.  We have received many responses and some of the letters are INCREDIBLE!!
We thank you all for your time and efforts.  May all of your prayers be answered for the positive.

Mindy & Barry Weinstein

Tuesday 19 February 2013

Media Review: "Lore" - German children abandoned in postwar Germany look for home

« .. In November, Israeli filmmaker Chanoch Ze'evi's "Hitler's Children" was screened at the Teaneck Film Festival. It is a documentary study of the children of many of Hitler's top lieutenants (and was reviewed here on November 9.) What happened to those children? How did they deal with their legacy? Ze'evi asks the questions and the people he interviews tell of their disdain for their fathers, how they suffered, and how it took much time for them truly to comprehend the extent of their parents' partnership with evil....»

Lore: German children abandoned in postwar Germany look for home - The Jewish Standard

Best Regards,

Monday 18 February 2013

The Mechitzah Controversy

«...For most of us therefore it might be easy to condemn a non Mechitza Shul.  For an Orthodox rabbi to take a position in such a Shul has long been considered forbidden by the great Poskim of the 20th century. Indeed, my own Rebbe, Rav Ahron Soloveichik forbade it. As did his brother, the Rav. But the issue is not as simple as that.

For starters, I want to make clear, that I in no way endorse or permit Traditional Shuls. Halachic opinions on this subject are way beyond my pay grade in any case. But they are not beyond the pay grade of at least one Posek of the 20th century – who differed from the above mentioned Poskim...»

The Mehitzah Heresy - Emes-Ve-Emunah - Jewish Ideas Daily


Many OU shuls with RCA rabbis in smaller communities had various compromises re: Mechitzah. A Common one was tripartite seating. Another was separate but without a Mechitza, which still prevails today at many Orthodox weddings and funerals.

Best Regards,

Sunday 17 February 2013

P. Trumah: Tzedakah is a Mirror of the Divine

Rav Eliyahu Safran:

«As we've noted, God is not asking for the Children of Israel to make an offering because He requires it. God has no need for the people's largesse? To suggest otherwise is to diminish God. And yet, God's command remains. So, if God is not asking for an offering for His own sake, what is He asking for?»

Trumah: Tzedakah is a Mirror of the Divine - Judaism - Israel National News

Stay HAPPY My Friends

Watching Football With My Super Son - Rav Dovid Cohen

«... Football is a raw sport and it can stir genuine emotions.  In the wildcard round of this year's playoffs, Robert Griffin III ("RG3") the Redskins star rookie quarterback, also wearing a red uniform, went down with a terrible knee injury.  Yedidya immediately pointed to the screen and poignantly exclaimed "Daddy-Sick!"  He was genuinely pained by the spectacle of the player sprawled on the ground in obvious agony.  Yedidya isn't the most articulate child, but his purity of spirit and sensitivity puts him spot-on when it comes to feeling the pain of others.  Watching RG3 crumpled on the ground, his very articulate father could not have expressed the moment any more succinctly, meaningfully or compassionately. ...»

The Jewish Week | Connecting the World to Jewish News, Culture, and Opinion

Best Regards,

Saturday 16 February 2013

Mussar: Charity Begins at Home

From Derech Emet:


Rabbi Hershel Schachter suggested to the Jews of Teaneck. that about 75% of their charity contributions be donated to local charities and institutions.

MICROBIOGRAPHY: born in year 1941 CE, a Rosh Yeshivah at Yeshiva University (YU) and
a top halachic advisor to the Orthodox Union (OU)

SOURCE: the Honestly Frum blog, 2010 May 11


Best Regards,

Friday 15 February 2013

Columbine - A Spiritual Tragedy

«I am here today to declare that Columbine was not just a tragedy -- it was a spiritual event that should be forcing us to look at where the real blame lies! Much of the blame lies here in this room. Much of the blame lies behind the pointing fingers of the accusers themselves. I wrote a poem just four nights ago that expresses my feelings best.

Your laws ignore our deepest needs,
Your words are empty air.
You've stripped away our heritage,
You've outlawed simple prayer.

Now gunshots fill our classrooms,
And precious children die.
You seek for answers everywhere,
And ask the question "Why?"

You regulate restrictive laws,
Through legislative creed.
And yet you fail to understand,
That God is what we need!»

But Also see some caveats here - Darrell Scott Testimony

Best Regards,

Thursday 14 February 2013

Wendy Weiner Runge - who will speak up for this Yiddishe Mama?

Wendy Weiner Runge - who will speak up for this Yiddishe Mama?

Another Orthodox Jew takes it on the chin in Iowa

«What about Runge? Sure, she used some pretty jocular language in one or two emails. She was certainly guilty of being a novice in a roughneck industry and of trusting her experienced partners and a state official.

But Runge was no criminal mastermind. ...

Runge is heading to jail over one transgression: She made an amendment to an application form for future film projects, after the deadline for doing so had passed. She had filed the form as a favor to a California filmmaker and was trying, a little late, to correct one error she had made in the application. Tom Wheeler had told her it would be OK for her to make the amendment and, based on that assurance, she did it.»
Another View: Facts make clear filmmaker doesn't deserve prison | The Des Moines Register |    --

Shalom and Regards,

Wednesday 13 February 2013

Yair Lapid: A Torah Analysis of His Challenge -- RBH Koshertube shiur

The excellent address by Yair Lapid to the charedi section of Kiryat Ona College has received must positive reaction. What many may not realize, though, is the unique Torah challenge that he is actually presenting. It is to this matter that I devoted my latest chabura shiur available on Koshertube at

To see Yair Lapid's original address, please go to
Nishmablog, also, has already opened a discussion of this speech at

Tuesday 12 February 2013

Ed Koch - A proud Jew remembered

«... The land may have been held hostage to negotiations — negotiations the Arab states rejected in their infamous "Three No's" declaration in Khartoum ("no peace with Israel, no recognition of Israel, no negotiations with Israel") — but Israel saw the administered territories as one huge humanitarian aid project.

That is not how some saw it in the United States, however. Especially on the far left of the Democratic Party in New York and around the nation, there was a movement to label Israel a colonizing aggressor and an occupier, undeserving of aid or support.

Koch was running for a seat in Congress ... [And]

Koch was not silent, however. The district leader and congressional candidate in the WASPish tony district ...raised his powerful frame, and cut the NDC crowd down to size. Israel was not the issue, he said; the three no's was the issue. Turn the three no's into three yesses, and see how quickly Israel would move toward peace. Israel, he said, was a state surrounded by enemies who would destroy it.

He was a proud Jew...»

A proud Jew remembered - The Jewish Standard

Best Regards,

Monday 11 February 2013

Baruch Dayan Ho'emet - RABBI DR. DAVID HARTMAN z"l

RIETS Class of 1954
Father of Dvorah, Tova, Rabbi Donniel, Adina and Ra'anan.

Rabbi David Hartman z"l founded Shalom Hartman Institute in 1971.

He is one of the Father's of Modern Orthodox programs in Israel. The influence of these programs on the Torah World goes beyond calculation. Both of our children were significantly transformed by their studying in Israel.

Ein Tzibbur Meit. Rav Hartman Z"L is gone, his work remains with us as a legacy. Y'hee Zichro Baruch.
Best Regards,

Sunday 10 February 2013

No Wonder Jews Love Chinese Food!

Sound Familiar?

«What Does the Chinese Year Look Like?

The Chinese calendar - like the Hebrew - is a combined solar/lunar calendar in that it strives to have its years coincide with the tropical year and its months coincide with the synodic months. It is not surprising that a few similarities exist between the Chinese and the Hebrew calendar:

An ordinary year has 12 months, a leap year has 13 months.

An ordinary year has 353, 354, or 355 days, a leap year has 383, 384, or 385 days.»

The Chinese Calendar | Calendars

Best Regards,

Saturday 9 February 2013

Mussar: Pray for Healing

From Derech Emet


Shulchan Aruch, Chelek Orach Chaim, Siman 230, Sif 4:

Before undergoing a medical procedure or before taking a medicine, say [this prayer]:

"May it be Your Will, HaShem my G-d, that this thing should be for me a healing, because you heal for free."

After a medical procedure or medicine, say [this thanks]:

"Blessed be the One Who heals the sick."

NOTE: In Hebrew is this: Baruch Rofeh Cholim.

The Ba'air Haitaiv commentary (S'if Katan 5) points out that even though a strictly literal reading of this Shulchan Aruch refers to an obsolete medical procedure known as blood-letting, the true intention of the text refers to any medical procedure or medicine.

The Mishnah Berurah commentary (S'if Katan 6) repeats the words of Ba'air Haitaiv and then teaches that you should not believe that the medicine is what really heals, but. instead you should believe that healing comes from G-d, and through this prayer we establish our trust in Him and request from Him that it [the medicine] should accomplish healing.

The Kaf HaChaim commentary (S'if Katan 18) points out that G-d heals for free, which is not true of human [doctors].


Best Regards,

Friday 8 February 2013

Conversion Controversy

«Rabbi Shlomo Riskin, the chief rabbi of Efrat and former rabbi of the Lincoln Square Synagogue, vouched not only for the rabbis in Nina's case but for Nina's family as well.
"It defies the imagination that this conversion should be questioned," he said

Rabbi Riskin said Nina's parents, whom he has known for decades, are "Orthodox Jews, but more to the point, the rabbis who converted her are upstanding Orthodox rabbis, one of them being one of the most prominent Orthodox rabbinical leaders in the United States."»

The Jewish Week | Connecting the World to Jewish News, Culture, and Opinion

Best Regards,

Thursday 7 February 2013

Neils Bohr and the Rescue of the Danish Jews During the Holocaust

« All sources agree that almost as soon as Hitler had taken power in Germany, Bohr played an active role in rescuing Jewish physicists out of Germany, typically offering them haven in Copenhagen before they could take up permanent residence elsewhere.[a] As for Sweden during World War II and especially in the autumn of 1943, it was far from certain that they would accept Danish Jews attempting to escape Hitler's deportation order. As related by Bohr's friend Stefan Rozental[30] and the historian Richard Rhodes,[31] Bohr was immediately smuggled out of Denmark in order to secure his services for the Manhattan Project. But rather than proceeding promptly to the United States, as had been planned for him, on 30 September 1943 Bohr persuaded King Gustav of Sweden to make public Sweden's willingness to provide asylum, on 2 October 1943 Swedish radio broadcast that Sweden was ready to offer asylum, and there followed quickly thereafter the mass rescue of the Danish Jews by their countrymen. Historians are divided not on Bohr's political actions in Sweden, but rather on the implications and impacts of those actions...»

Niels Bohr - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Rescue of the Danish Jews - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Best Regards,

Tuesday 5 February 2013

In Memory of Mayor Ed Koch
Many have commented on Koch's impending burial under an overtly Jewish tombstone in the graveyard of a church, or on his selection of the final words of slain Wall Street Journal reporter, Daniel Pearl, for the first part of his epitaph. Indeed, Koch's choices clearly highlight his ecumenical spirit and his belief in leveraging faith as a driver to work for the common good.
A Final Lesson from Mayor Ed Koch - Forbes

Best Regards,

Monday 4 February 2013

Yair Lapid speaks to Haredi track of Kiryat Ono College

Yair Lapid is the latest "big player" on the Israeli political scene -- and there is much for us to consider in figuring out how he and his Yesh Atid party will influence that country. It is in this regard that I direct you to the following speech he made at Kiryat Ona College.

I am not sure what this will all mean but it is clearly most significant.

Rabbi Ben Hecht

Sunday 3 February 2013

Are Violent Video Games Corrupting Our Children?

Rav Eliyahu Safran

«New York - Murderous violence has been with us since the generation after Adam and Eve first trudged, ashamed and burdened, east of Eden, banished from the Garden because of their disobedience.  Through the ages, few things have defined us so much as our ability to visit horrific cruelty upon our fellows.  The ability to "mass murder" is anything but a new phenomenon.  Jews have a much too intimate knowledge of the horror and sadness that comes with the experience of the vicious slaughter of multiple numbers of innocents in a short period of time.

If technology has been consistent over the span of history, its greatest constancy has been is that it has always lurched forward in creating ever more efficient methods of killing.»

New York - Op-Ed: Violent Video Games The Slaughter Of Our Children --

Best Regards,

Saturday 2 February 2013

Mussar: Hachna'ah

From Derech Emet...


Sefer Pele Yoetz, chapter Cniaah [submissiveness]:

The Kabalists have taught that the main thing that prayer being accepted depends on is a submissive attitude[hachnaah].

It once happened that a group of righteous Jews [tzaddikim] [got together and] prayed with amazing concentration [kavanah].

Later is was revealed to them from Heaven that the prayers they recited were [of] amazing [excellence], but [only] because they. did not have a submissive attitude, they were being prepared to
receive punishment, but they were saved because one of them had a submissive attitude, and through his merit they were all saved.

Those who are lowly of spirit [Nemuchai HaRuach] are great in the eyes of the Holy One Blessed Be He [literally, they are great before Him] and their prayers are not turned away empty-handed.

Pele Yoetz was completed by Rabbi Eliezer Papo (Sefardi Tahor) in Bulgaria on April 28, 1824; he lived from 1785 CE to 1826 CE.


Best Regards,

Friday 1 February 2013

Nahagu - does not always mean Minhag!

«This is an incorrect reading of the source you quote from Bet Yosef. The Bet Yosef writes the word that "Nahagu" not to count a woman. This usage of "nahagu" does not at all mean it's a 'minhag'! He just means that there was one minority opinion of Rabeinu Simcha that one can count one women in a time of need, but that the vast majority, including the more authoritative Rabeinu Tam, reject this. He concludes by saying: and so too the widespread PRACTICE is in accordance with R. Tam. The word "nahagu" here speaks to common HALACHIC practice, not to mere "minhag" in the sense that we use the term. It just means that, as in all areas of halacha, we rule by the vast majority opinion against a lone minority.»

Hirhurim - Torah Musings » Partnership Minyanim II


Similarly the primary use of Nahagu by Rema addresses which side of a Machoket has been picked.

This is a common mis-understanding of how to read M'chabbeir and Rema and leads to all kinds of flawed extrapolation

Best Regards,