Our mourning, shiva, and consolation rituals work quite well in the usual circumstances of death.
However, several friends have expressed deep disappointment that Jewish Ritual does not accommodate these exceptional tragic circumstances.
Can we fill this gap? Must we let these families in pain "slip through the cracks"? Or can we do something to ameliorate their pain?
Shalom
RRW
1 comment:
A more fundamental question is whether "Jewish Ritual" should fill this gap. I am not minimizing the pain that must be felt by those who, sadly and unfortunately, have experience this tragedy. I am just wondering if it is the role of "Jewish Ritual" to act to comfort one in this situation. Clearly, Halacha would call upon someone to respond to assist and attempt to help and comfort -- but why can't this be in a personal manner, focusing on the individuality of those who are suffering? But does not "Jewish Ritual" present other ways to comfort individuals, reference obviously being made to the laws of aveilut. But are the ta'amei hamitzvot that have been presented to explain the purpose of these laws to be understood as the very motivation for these laws? I think it is too simplistic to offer the very purpose of the laws of aveilut simply as a means to comfort an individual. As with all matters that affect the individual, it is impossible to define one directive, one behaviour as effective for everyone. Some people find the shiva experience, for example, most difficult. Even if most people do find shiva comforting, it is difficult to declare that this is "Jewish Ritual" responding to the comfort need of the situation. It may do so, but there are many other potential effects of aveilut that serve a multitude of purposes. Perhaps, in fact, the very fact that Halacha does not have a prescribed process by which to respond to the case of a nafel, a declared ritual of comfort, the Halacha is actually allowing us to respond to the specific individuality of the situation. It is such a case when the comfort of those who have experienced should take such a priority, the focus of the Halacha is solely on this. The result is that it may be that it calls upon people to assist, to help, to comfort with a focus totally on the individual and the specific needs of this person. No general ritual -- just what this individual needs.
Rabbi Ben Hecht
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