Sunday, 17 May 2009

Reflections on Aveilus 2 - Mourning and Comfort - Mixed Messages?

Getting up from Shiva and reflecting...
  • Is Shiva about healing the wound?
  • Is it about mourning?
  • Is it about adding suffering to the bereaved?
  • Is it about processing grief?
  • Is it about exacerbating a tough time?
  • Is it about the mourner?
  • Is it about the deceased?
  • Is it about the comforters?
  • Is a mourner pampered?
  • Is the mourner entertainer-in chief?
How is a mourner after shiva to feel? Relieved? Or once the comforters leave is the letdown provide even more intense grief - lacking the well-wishers?

Should the mourner discuss:

  • The deceased?
  • The relationship WITH the deceased?
  • The mourner's feelings of shock and grief?
  • The kindness of the consolers?

  • If a mourner needs to be comforted then why does halachah oppose virtually every creature comfort?
  • If a mourner has lost joy why is joy restricted?
  • How come a consoler can bring the mourner joy via his favorite meat balls but the simple joy of bathing is restricted?


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