New Humra: Olympic Glatt.
Traditionally Kosher Meat has been classified into a stratified hierarchy
- Kosher
- Glatt Kosher
- Beth Joseph Glatt Kosher.
And now, in honour of the Vancouver Winter Olympics we introduce to the Podium:
- "Olympic Glatt Kosher"
When inspecting the lungs the new procedure will be performed by an Olympic ice skater who will verify the smoothness of the lung by SKATING on it.
There is already a Machloqet as to how this is done
A. Rabbi Oh! No! says:
Use a Speed Skater.
B. Rabbi Lutz Says
Use a Figure Skater - should figure 8 out.
R Langenbrunner says
A Hockey Player should CHECK the lungs.
Within "A" some say
Short Track [kitzur b'diqah]
Others are mattir ANY Speed skater
Others mattir ANY Olympic Skater
Wome say women's figure skaters are not allowed because of mar'it ayin - no staring at their costumes.
Any lung smooth enough for ice skating will be deemed Olympic Glatt. Rejects will be tested for lesser forms of smoothness and sent DOWNHILL to lesser forms of Kosher before being disqualified.
Freilichen Purim,
RRW
1 comment:
New Pesach chumrah. Any feces in a person's body from just before Pesach has chometz in it. Even if the person has been eating only Pesach foods for the previous week that chometz will still be there for two reasons:
1) Because of the Pesach food he likely hasn't had a bowel movement during those 2 weeks
2) Because of the slow intestinal time, any grain products have had plenty of time to leaven in his intestines.
Therefore the first bowel movement (two if you're Lubavitch) have to be into an open fire to fulfull the mitzvah of biyur chometz.
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