In our last poll, we inquired:
Your Responses (Total 12):
Option A - 50% (6)
Option B - 42% (5)
Option C - 08% (1)
Option D - 00% (0)
Comments
Rabbi Hecht:
I was told that a famous gadol of the previous generation once used this question to illustrate the distinction between a "big talmid chacham" and a gadol.
He said that the former would clearly choose Option A for, in terms of severity of the specific aveira, sleeping with a nidda is much worse than sleeping with a non-Jewish woman. Relations with a niddah is an offence punishable by koreit but, in the case of sleeping with a non-Jewish woman, while there are disagreements on the exact nature of the prohibition -- even whether d'oraitha or d'rabbanan, an asei or lo ta'asei -- no one describes it in that severe category. (We are not discussing the case of public sexual relations with an idolatrous woman for which the principle of kanaim pogin bo applies.)
A gadol, he continued, would, though, choose Option B. This is a case for policy considerations and, in this regard, promoting a marriage between two Jews versus an intermarriage clearly has priority. In the case of two Jews marrying, there is a chance for a second generation that would be able to enter the kanfei haShechina as well as a greater chance for teshuva in regard to the couple itself.
Years later, though, upon relaying this question to someone else, before I could present the above answer, this person interrupted me and told me that he knew of another gadol who faced this exact question and advised the person to continue living with the non-Jew. It would seem he would choose Option A. So maybe the lack of a clear result to our poll has some validity.
In regard to this last story, though, as I further investigated the facts I found them to be somewhat different than the straightforward case posed in the question of the first gadol and could understand that the policy considerations voiced by this gadol would be inapplicable in the latter case. Basically, in conclusion, I would have to say that I would also choose Option B.
Your Responses (Total 12):
Option A - 50% (6)
Option B - 42% (5)
Option C - 08% (1)
Option D - 00% (0)
Comments
Rabbi Hecht:
I was told that a famous gadol of the previous generation once used this question to illustrate the distinction between a "big talmid chacham" and a gadol.
He said that the former would clearly choose Option A for, in terms of severity of the specific aveira, sleeping with a nidda is much worse than sleeping with a non-Jewish woman. Relations with a niddah is an offence punishable by koreit but, in the case of sleeping with a non-Jewish woman, while there are disagreements on the exact nature of the prohibition -- even whether d'oraitha or d'rabbanan, an asei or lo ta'asei -- no one describes it in that severe category. (We are not discussing the case of public sexual relations with an idolatrous woman for which the principle of kanaim pogin bo applies.)
A gadol, he continued, would, though, choose Option B. This is a case for policy considerations and, in this regard, promoting a marriage between two Jews versus an intermarriage clearly has priority. In the case of two Jews marrying, there is a chance for a second generation that would be able to enter the kanfei haShechina as well as a greater chance for teshuva in regard to the couple itself.
Years later, though, upon relaying this question to someone else, before I could present the above answer, this person interrupted me and told me that he knew of another gadol who faced this exact question and advised the person to continue living with the non-Jew. It would seem he would choose Option A. So maybe the lack of a clear result to our poll has some validity.
In regard to this last story, though, as I further investigated the facts I found them to be somewhat different than the straightforward case posed in the question of the first gadol and could understand that the policy considerations voiced by this gadol would be inapplicable in the latter case. Basically, in conclusion, I would have to say that I would also choose Option B.
2 comments:
On this subject I came across the following Avodah posting that is most applicable and wanted to share it with everyone.
KT
RRW
From: Daniel Eidensohn
Rav Yaakov Kaminetsky(Emes LeYaakov Parshas Yechi page 237): A practical example of zealousness which is not based on a correct reading of the halacha is found in the following question. A person has the choice of marrying a Jewish woman who doesn’t observe the laws of family purity or a
non-Jewish woman. Which is preferable? A student who has not properly served an apprenticeship with an experienced posek will say that it is obvious that the person should chose to marry the non-Jewish woman. That is because
sexual relations with a nidah is punished by kares while sexual relations with a non-Jew is only a violation of a negative commandment of the Torah
which is not punished by kares. The truth is not this way. Rambam (Hilchos Issurei Bi’ah 12:7-8) states that even though sexual relations with a non-Jewish maidservant is only a rabbinic prohibition he rules that, “this
sin even though it is not punished by capital punishment from the court should not be viewed lightly. That is because there is a loss associated with sexual relations with a non-Jew which you don’t find in the violation
of all the other prohibited sexual relations. That loss is that the son from the other prohibited sexual relations is still his son in every respect and is considered a Jew. That is true even if the child is a mamzer. In contrast
the son from a non-Jewish woman is not his son…. This sexual relationship with a non-Jewish woman will cause him to turn away from G-d and to attach himself to non-Jews. - from whom G-d has deliberately separated us so that
we can be close to G-d... “ It is clear from this that the person should chose the relationship with the Jewish woman even though she doesn’t observe the laws of family purity.
This subject was discussed in the
mail-jewish mailing list, beginning
in Mail-Jewish Volume 55 Number 57
(August 2007). See the archives at
http://www.ottmall.com/mj_ht_arch/v55/mj_v55i57.html
for the original article, and use the
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