Jewish holidays are for people with illnesses:
- Purim is for alcoholics
- Pesach is for OCDs
- Shavuos is for insomniacs
- Lag B'omer is for pyromaniacs who weren't satisfied with Chanuka.
- Tisha B'Av is for manic depressives
- Rosh Hashana is for people who obsess over dying.
- Yom Kippur is for anorexics
- Sukkos is for the homeless
- Simchas Torah is for those in their happier stages of bipolar
Mi K'Amcha Yisroel.
... and people still wonder why the Jews invented psychology.
Wishing you a happy, kosher Pesach