Originally published 5/16/11, 5:18 pm.
I received this letter and made some cosmetic changes to it
«Dear Rabbi Wolpoe,
Many years ago I was on a date in Manhattan when a local rabbi needed help with his maariv minyan...
I went gladly and I shlepped another reluctant fellow saying "after all, it's only 10 minutes"
So we went
Lo and behold - he conducted a full-blown Yom Ho'atzma'ut service with us as a captive audience. Our dates were miffed. My acquaintance whom I shlepped was murmuring "I told you so" etc.
Did this rabbi "do the right thing" by holding us there beyond the regular Maariv Service?
Signed
Abie»
Here was my quick response
«Dear Abie,
First the rabbi could have warned you or consulted you first But I guess he wasn't very proactive.
Second the rabbi could have finished Aleinu and Kaddish, then sent you fellows back and continued the special service sans a minyan. But I guess the rabbi wasn't thinking about you, or perhaps he felt it was a good idea for you guys to experience the glory of the entire service, despite your personal discomfort.
Third, I guess you may have become gun shy in the future about "helping out". Otherwise why did you need to express yourself? I find that rabbis who make a captive audience wait do turn off some people. Others may not care.
I hope you have more positive experiences in the future.»
Dear Readers, any other elegant solutions to this dilemma?
Shalom,
RRW
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