The "Control Freak" and the Agunah

«The engagement period in our community, like our dating, is very short. There was so much to do before our February wedding that I didn't worry too much about our compatibility.

As per our tradition, each side pays for certain things — our side the food, his side the flowers. I didn't fuss much over these things, but I couldn't believe how many times Avrohom sent back the invitation because it wasn't the perfect font. Looking back, I should have seen the signs.

Before I knew it, the big day arrived. Four hundred guests celebrated with us at a gorgeous catering hall in Lakewood. I felt so beautiful in my ivory lace dress and veil, with a white rose bouquet. The band, which Avrohom chose himself, had all the guests, women on their side and men on the other, dancing for hours.

But only three days into the marriage, I knew I made a terrible mistake. It was our first Shabbat together as man and wife — and it was spent in silence. We were about to light the Sabbath candles, and we discussed how each of our families likes to light it. It's a female tradition, and you typically do what your mother did. When my way contradicted his way, he criticized me and turned angry. Avrohom said: "You have no choice. It's not my way," and gave me the cold shoulder for the next 24 hours. From Friday night to Saturday night, we didn't speak a word.

When I couldn't stand the hostility anymore, I said, "You can't just ignore me — this isn't how a relationship works. We have to be able to talk about these things." The only response he could muster was: "When I don't get my way, I don't know how to function."»

An orthodox woman's 3-year divorce fight | New York Post
http://nypost.com/2013/11/04/orthodox-jewish-womans-plea-for-a-divorce/


Kol Tuv,
RRW